Dating Parallels Job Search Part II: Are You Ready To Begin?

“My professional team and I are connected through a common alignment of goals to serve the client and its members. My personal team of connections on dating apps has a common alignment of goals and the willingness to share a bit of ourselves in the journey of life to serve each other.“ A direct quote from my friend Faith.

I have argued that a successful search begins with a plan. Finding a life partner requires a plan too. In reality, however, even before developing a plan, one must begin with a winning attitude. Success requires a positive, optimistic, yet realistic outlook. One must be confident that the search will be successful in a reasonable period of time. And, you must pursue your search with integrity. Confidence is the key to a winning attitude. You must believe in your skills and capabilities. You must believe in yourself.

A lack of confidence cannot be disguised, and it will be fatal. I am certain that you have had experience with people who were unconvincing. You did not believe they could deliver on their claims. Their presentation did not ring true, and their body language was not congruent. Whatever they were selling, they failed to close the deal. Confidence comes from experience. The more experience one has networking, or dating, the more skillful one becomes. Networking forces us out of our comfort zone. It is challenging for some. With practice, you will perfect your message and gain needed information. You learn to listen for cues, clues, and signals to help evaluate options. You learn how to communicate your goals and capabilities in a way that resonates with others. You learn how and when to present information that may not be flattering. You learn how to maintain your composure with grace and professionalism. You learn to express interest without looking desperate. You learn that a little mystery enhances interest. Your experience builds confidence which captivates the other party.

I have been amused by stories friends have told about their first meetings. All too often, the other person’s physical description and photograph were outdated, with little resemblance to the current reality. Of course, it wasn’t amusing to my friends. No one likes wasting time and energy on a fantasy. Integrity; consistent, honest, ethical behavior, is the backbone of your efforts. An accurate presentation of your background and accomplishments is expected. A current photo is required, when dating. Outdated photographs are viewed as deceptive, a major turnoff. Inaccurate embellishments and outright lies will be discovered. Honesty is always the best policy.

Making a good physical presentation at the first personal meeting will determine if the process will move forward. Appropriate attire and grooming is a good place to start. Appropriate means matching the norms of the employer, or situation. I am reminded of something my mother often told me. She said, “You won’t be viewed negatively if you are over-dressed, but you will be if you are under-dressed.” That advice has served me well. One must be well versed in etiquette to behave according to expectations. Your communication skills are being evaluated as you are evaluating the other party. Are you a likeable person? Do people enjoy your company? If you are not a friendly, likeable person it will be difficult finding an appropriate job, or mate. Be likeable. People like to date, and work with people they like.

There will be setbacks along the way. Disappointment is a part of the process. One must have coping skills to work through the rough spots. One of the best coping skills is to build a large list of  prospects. If one or two prospects fall out, you will still have ample targets to pursue.  Remember, search is a numbers game. Think of a funnel, as a metaphor for the process. A funnel is broad at the top and narrow at the bottom. Target a large, but reasonable number of employers for consideration at the beginning of your search. Then work the process so that, hopefully, you will have two or three finalists to choose from. Start with a lot of participants (play the field) and work them through your process until only one is left standing.  Job search and Mate-search begins with the right attitude and confidence in your skills. If you lack confidence and do not present a winning attitude, your search will be prolonged until you make the necessary changes.

Thank you for visiting my blog.  I hope you enjoyed my point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox. Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.  


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Jim Weber, President
New Century Dynamics Executive Search
Author of: Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

Current Assignments

1. Strategic Partner - Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company - Complete
2. Director of Business Development, Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company: New
3. Payroll-Benefits Manager, Atlanta-based Retail Company. New
4. Senior Accounting Manager – Atlanta-based Manufacturer.  New
5. Controller - Orlando, FL-based Restaurant Company:  New

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Dating Parallels Job Search

I enjoy autumn.   The days are getting cooler here in Atlanta, and the changing of the leaves is awesome.   However, it is the return of NCAA Football; that  makes fall so enjoyable to me.   On a recent Sunday morning, I was exchanging congratulatory football-related texts with my friend Faith, when she asked if I had time for a phone call.   I had just poured a fresh cup of coffee which I planned to enjoy on the deck, so I was free to talk.   After exchanging some pleasantries, Faith said she needed a male’s perspective about a guy she had been dating.  After 40 years of marriage, I am clueless as to the current dating scene.  However, from time to time, my female friends ask me for insight into the male psyche.  She told me that after three good dates, this guy had gone “radio-silent.”   Also, he had failed to respond to a few text messages.  She was miffed by his behavior, which she considered rude, and asked for my perspective.  I cannot say that I was much help, but I did share some thoughts.  It occurred to me that our conversation was similar to my recruiting-related issues.

I have some single friends, male and female, mostly Baby-Boomers, who are actively dating.   When we get together, over cocktails, poker, or business networking, I usually get an update on their progress looking for the right match.   Some of my single friends are very active.  Each has been married, at least once, so they know what they want in a mate.  Some have a clear dating strategy to follow.  Some are more casual, taking things as they come.  Some enjoy the process, while it has traumatized others.  Some are optimistic while others have all but given up.  People new to the dating scene are trying to understand the rules of the game.  I have come to realize that dating and job search is very similar, particularly among Baby-Boomers. 

 

Making a good first impression is a critical component in dating and job search.  It begins with your on-line profile, usually LinkedIn and a resume for job seekers.   As with job search, technology has delivered a lot of resources to facilitate “mate search,” with E-Harmony and Match.com prominently recognized.   Additionally, there are smartphone dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and the new Hinge.  These apps offer a platform to aid those seeking friendship, romance, and at times, short-term physical gratification.   About these apps, Faith said, “As I surf through the sea of other romance seekers on these apps, I look for a common alignment of goals, personal and professional interests, and hobbies.”

Notwithstanding the technology supporting the dating scene, the fundamental process for selecting a mate is much the same as finding a good job.  It begins with a goal, supported by criteria for the optimal match and a search strategy.  In other words, you need a plan.  When dating, the process is referred to as romance, whereas the job search process is about earning a living.  In dating and job search, the objective is about promoting one’s unique selling proposition while evaluating the other party.  

Every step of the way is fraught with angst.  I hear questions like; when will I hear back from him/her?  Did I make a fatal mistake?  Are they considering someone else?   Why is the process taking so long?  It is a challenge to get your foot in the door.  That first screening call is the brass ring.  Waiting for the second call can be agonizing.  The process never happens in a vacuum.  There is always competition, blind to the candidate until after the fact, if ever.  The timetable is beyond one’s control.  Intestinal fortitude is required.

Next week I will explore each step of the dating/job search process in more depth.

Thank you for visiting my blog.  I hope you enjoyed my point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox. Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.  


Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read. Your input is important to me so; please leave a comment.


Jim Weber, President
New Century Dynamics Executive Search
Author of: Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

Current Assignments

1. Strategic Partner - Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company - Complete
2. Director of Business Development, Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company: New
3. Training Director – Southeastern-based Restaurant Group:  New
4. Senior Accounting Manager – Atlanta-based Manufacturer.  New
5. Controller - Orlando, FL-based Restaurant Company:  New

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Before You Accept That Job Offer:

Recently, I have been writing about transitioning from employee to independent contractor, or consultant.  That is a significant trend that is here to stay.  However, it goes both ways.  This week a good friend approached me for advice about leaving her business to become an employee for one of her larger customers.  It has been a very long time since she has been an employee, so she wanted to be sure that she was making the best decision, in the right way. 

Before offering any advice, I asked her to give me the full background on her situation.  She said that she has been working with this thirty-year-old company and has developed a good rapport with the owners.  They like her project management style and think she can help them build their business.  Now, they want her to join their team.  She likes the opportunity but is uncertain as to how she should proceed.

My first question was to confirm that she enjoyed working with these folks and that mutual trust and respect is established.   Secondly, I asked if she thought that their upside potential was greater than if she stayed focused on her business.  When I got an affirmative response to each of those questions, I asked if she had received an offer letter documenting the terms of her employment.  Silence.  I was not surprised, as small companies usually hire new employees on a handshake.   I explained the importance of an offer letter is to ensure that she fully understands the commitment required of her.  I promised to send her a sample offer letter when we finished our call. 

I would ask the following questions when negotiating an employment agreement.  These are business-based, standard questions for anyone contemplating a new job.

1.    What is my role and title with this company?

2.    Who do I report to?

3.    Will I have any direct reports?

4.    What is my compensation, including incentives, and commissions?

5.    What is my base salary, when and how is it paid?

6.    What is the Commission program and how is it paid?

7.    Expenses: what "qualified business expenses" will be reimbursed, including automobile  mileage, corporate credit card, etc?

8.    401K: is one available, is there a corporate match, what is the vesting schedule?

9.    Profit Sharing: is one available, am I considered eligible?

10.  Health insurance: what carrier, what percentage does the company pay?

11.  Is short term, long term, and disability available through the company?

12.  Ancillary benefits:  critical illness, auto / home, additional life insurance buy ups, etc.

13.  Is there Paid Time Off?  How does that program work?

14.  What Holidays are observed?

15.  How can I become a major contributor to this organization?

16.  What are my opportunities to be considered for more senior management positions after      meeting certain metrics?

17.  Tools provided:  Laptop computer, cell phone, etc. 

Armed with this information, my friend was prepared for the next discussion with her prospective employer.  He assured her that he would address all of her questions when they met again to finalize the deal, and he did. 

If you don't get a formal offer letter, you will still want to address these issues with your prospective employer.   Write them down before your meeting to ensure that all of these questions are answered to your satisfaction.    Make sure to leave enough space to take notes documenting your discussion.   These notes will become your offer letter.  When your conversation is finished, make a copy of your notes for your prospective employer to ensure that you are both on the same page. 

In having this conversation with your potential new boss, you will learn about him as a leader and his decision-making skills.  You will learn about the corporate culture as well as his vision to grow his company.   More importantly, you will have documentation to help resolve issues as they arise.  So, before making a commitment to start a new job, make sure the terms of your employment are documented.

Thank you for visiting my blog.  I hope you enjoyed my point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox. Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.  


Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read. Your input is important to me so; please leave a comment.


Jim Weber, President
New Century Dynamics Executive Search
Author of: Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

Current Assignments

1. Strategic Partner - Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company - Complete
2. Director of Business Development, Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company: New
3. Training Director – Southeastern-based Restaurant Group:  New
4. Senior Accounting Manager – Atlanta-based Manufacturer.  New
5. Controller - Orlando, FL-based Restaurant Company:  New

Text To Join Our Mailing List:

Send the following text message:  NEWCENTURY

To:  22828