I
enjoy autumn. The
days are getting cooler here in Atlanta, and the changing of the leaves is
awesome. However, it is the return of
NCAA Football;
that
makes fall so enjoyable to me. On a
recent Sunday morning, I was exchanging congratulatory football-related texts
with my friend Faith, when she asked if I had time for a phone call. I had just poured a fresh cup of coffee which
I planned to enjoy on the deck, so I was free to talk. After exchanging some pleasantries, Faith
said she needed a male’s perspective about a guy she had been dating. After
40 years of marriage, I am clueless as to the current dating scene. However, from time to time, my female friends
ask me for insight into the male psyche. She
told me that after three good dates, this guy had gone “radio-silent.” Also, he had failed to respond to a few text
messages. She was miffed by his
behavior, which she considered rude, and asked for my perspective. I cannot say that I was much help, but I did
share some thoughts. It occurred to me
that our conversation was similar to my recruiting-related issues.
I
have some single friends, male and female,
mostly Baby-Boomers, who are actively dating.
When we get together, over cocktails, poker, or business networking, I
usually get an update on their progress looking for the right match. Some of my single friends are very active. Each has been married, at least once, so
they know what they want in a mate. Some have a clear dating strategy
to follow. Some are more casual, taking things as
they come. Some enjoy the process, while
it has traumatized others. Some are
optimistic while others have all but given up.
People new to the dating scene are trying to understand the rules of the
game. I have come to realize that dating and job search
is very similar, particularly among Baby-Boomers.
Making a good first impression is a critical
component in dating and job search. It
begins with your on-line profile, usually LinkedIn and a resume for job
seekers. As with job search, technology
has delivered a lot of resources to facilitate “mate search,” with E-Harmony
and Match.com prominently recognized. Additionally,
there are smartphone
dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble,
and the new Hinge.
These apps offer a platform to aid those seeking friendship, romance,
and at times, short-term physical gratification.
About these apps, Faith
said, “As I surf through the sea of other
romance seekers on these apps, I look for a common alignment of goals, personal
and professional interests, and hobbies.”
Notwithstanding the technology supporting the dating
scene, the fundamental process for selecting a mate is much the same as finding
a good job. It begins with a goal,
supported by criteria for the optimal match and a search strategy. In other words, you need a plan. When dating, the process is referred to as
romance, whereas the job search process is about earning a living. In dating and job search, the objective is
about promoting one’s unique selling proposition while evaluating the other
party.
Every step of the way is fraught with
angst. I hear questions like; when will
I hear back from him/her? Did I make a
fatal mistake? Are they considering
someone else? Why is the process taking
so long? It is a challenge to get your
foot in the door. That first screening
call is the brass ring. Waiting for the second
call can be agonizing. The process never
happens in a vacuum. There is always
competition, blind to the candidate until after the fact, if ever. The timetable is beyond one’s
control. Intestinal fortitude is required.
Next week I will explore each step of the dating/job
search process in more depth.
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Jim Weber, President
New Century Dynamics Executive Search
Author of: Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal
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Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read. Your input is important to me so; please leave a comment.
Jim Weber, President
New Century Dynamics Executive Search
Author of: Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal
Current Assignments
2. Director of Business Development, Atlanta-based B2B Professional Services Company: New
3. Training Director – Southeastern-based Restaurant Group: New
4. Senior Accounting Manager – Atlanta-based Manufacturer. New
5. Controller - Orlando, FL-based Restaurant Company: New
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